wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Welp...herpes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
