I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
as a side note pls kill me
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