So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
