My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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