i just wanna soil my oats bro
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
