Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
