Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
