I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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