oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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