why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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