i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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