Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i think im in europe. pls send help
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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