Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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