There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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