I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
