if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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