how can u be prego again
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
