Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
