well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize