I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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