last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
