It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
