you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
