too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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