Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
