You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
