i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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