what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
