Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
