it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
