so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What a dumb baby whore.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
