I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's never too late to be topless.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
