Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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