Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
