White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so let's talk penis.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
