she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you never un-have a 4some
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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