i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't notice because vodka
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
