So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize