eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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