Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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