Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
