I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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