So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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