I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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