i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
