Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
