is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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