I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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