Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
