its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
