the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize