He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
