turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want a musical about memes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
