when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize