There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
