i was born a porn star she said
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
