Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
