I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
