i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
