I look better un-naked...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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