I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
