dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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