I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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