omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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