Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
