Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
