yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
