It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
