just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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