I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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