ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My vagina just recognized that song.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
