Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
