So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
