so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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