You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
