That's intense
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
